My first Aid & Attendance post received the following comment, which is definitely worth repeating here: Hey Deb, I read your post about trying to get VA benefits, and thought you mightlike to know about www.GovBenefits.gov. It’s the official benefits Website of the US Government and provides information on more than 1,000programs including scholarships. The site also… Continue reading Aid & Attendance, part 2 / August 11, 2006
I had read about memory loss, confusion and dysphasia, but I was not prepared for the behavioral changes that often come with Alzheimer’s. I don’t know if they are actually the second most stressful part of living with my mother–-after finances–-but they are the most likely triggers of my anger. Today, for example, I had… Continue reading Stress, part 2 / August 9, 2006
My mother had a miserable summer in 2004. She complained constantly and was angry with us all the time, it seemed. Her most persistent complaint was about her legs–she’d broken her hip three years earlier but had recovered extremely well from the replacement surgery. We’d followed up with the orthopedic doctor every six months since… Continue reading In the beginning, part 2 / August 6, 2006
Not much to report, other than the obvious change in my theme. I had been on the lookout for something with a yellow background and liked this one, which is called RetroFlowers. I like the overall balance of the elements and find the text to be much more readable than my last theme. I also liked… Continue reading A little introspection / July 30, 2006
Today was a good day, and I had forgotten what it feels like to go the whole day without the knot in my gut. The weather was lovely–-bright and warm and dry, perfectly summer-like. When I made the first call to my mother at 9:30 AM she was alert and in a good mood. (Oddly… Continue reading The two of us / July 24, 2006
I have never said the “A”-word to my mother. I’ve never told her that she has Alzheimer’s, nor have I referred to it in passing. We have talked about her memory loss–I’m getting better at trying to draw HER out, rather than giving her little pep talks about it–but ever since the day the neurologist,… Continue reading The A-word / July 22, 2006
I’ve just finished reading Sue Miller’s The Story of my Father, an account of her Dad’s Alzheimer’s Disease. I was a fan of Miller’s writing well before I found this memoir–her novels include The Good Mother and Inventing the Abbotts. Graceful, evocative writing and the willingness to explore the darker side of life are two hallmarks of her work.… Continue reading Sue Miller’s memoir / July 20, 2006
I’ve been trying to describe to myself what causes me stress these days. If I can identify the factors, maybe I can manage some of them? [she wondered hopefully]. I don’t know when I began to think of stress as something like smog–diffuse and unavoidable. I guess it is, but nevertheless, it originates somewhere–either in… Continue reading Stress, part 1 / July 17, 2006
I’ve been reading My Mother’s Journey and having a conversation with Bailey, its author, about the gradual reversal in roles between our mothers and ourselves. We have both discovered that our own illnesses can bring out the maternal impulse that our Moms still possess–in my case, I’ve actually found myself “milking” the illness (which is usually a… Continue reading My mother, myself / July 12, 2006
I lost count of the number of times today that my mother asked me why “he” hadn’t come home. I think she may have split me into two people: the person she can see and the other person she talked to on the phone. She’s seemed a little “off” for the past couple of days–a… Continue reading Something’s got to give / July 11, 2006
