“He made such a nice dinner tonight,” my mother said, once we’d finished and were relaxing in the living room. In the past I would have corrected her: “No, Ma, I made the dinner.” But now it isn’t important. The gender confusion is actually a clue to me that she’s contented. The presence of “him”–usually… Continue reading Mom’s mental map / June 28, 2006
Just a short post to, first, link to an excellent essay called How to Be Where You Are by my friend Gail, at Mom and Me Too, about mindfulness and how the daily acts of caregiving can enlarge what seems sometimes to be the very isolated life of the caregiver and her Ancient One. In her essay Gail… Continue reading More than this / June 25, 2006
Today was the wedding day. Last night I hemmed the pants to my mother’s new pantsuit, and then I set her hair with the new sponge rollers I’d bought. At some point she began to confuse today’s event with a graduation, and wanted to know whether all the students would be there to get their… Continue reading The wedding / June 24, 2006
So this has nothing at all to do with dementia. A fairly big-budget movie is being filmed here in Providence, and I’ve run into it on several occasions over the past couple of months. It’s a live-action version of the old cartoon called “Underdog,” which I missed altogether as a kid, my cartoon days having… Continue reading Tinsel Town and my morning commute / June 22, 2006
Today my sister and I visited an assisted living residence, the first of at least four that we’ll visit. I’m learning as I go along. I did quite a bit of research beforehand but there’s nothing like the experience of walking into a place and imagining your parent living there. I actually felt sick about… Continue reading Assisted living, part 1 / June 20, 2006
This is a story of how dementia and family dynamics can be kneaded together to create something that will rise on its own. It’s an example of how one situation and its ripple effect stoke the stress that often underlies the mindset and the judgment of the caregiver, and which then reaches the Alzheimer sufferer… Continue reading Dia de los Muertos / June 17, 2006
I took the past two days off, so I’ve been with my mother for four days straight, all day. There’s a lot I don’t see of her daily mindset because I leave for work at 7:15 and don’t get home until about 4. By that time of day she’s usually as sharp as she can… Continue reading A day in the life / June 13, 2006
I’ve been having a discussion with my friend Gail about spiritual life and whether or not it affects or is affected by dementia. I’m now reading David Shenk’s The Forgetting and in his discussion of the middle stages of AD he describes how the disease progresses systematically through the different parts of the brain. The hippocampus is affected first, eroding the… Continue reading The word / June 12, 2006
Several entries ago I was patting myself on the back over my handling of my mother’s refusal to let the homemaker into the house one day. Lesson number two: be prepared to reinvent the wheel every day, or, laurels are only decorative–they aren’t meant to be rested on. My mother refused to let the homemaker… Continue reading One step forward, two steps back / June 9, 2006
