Today bears the same date as the day my mother died, but that day will always be a Tuesday to me. It felt like a Tuesday. Or maybe Tuesdays will always feel like that day, which was sunny in that extra bright early spring way. No leaves on the trees yet, exposing the squirrels and… Continue reading One year later / April 15, 2009
Next Monday will be the seven-month anniversary of my mother’s death. Strangely enough, it seems to me that even more time has passed since that day, and I have no idea why. I remember a dear older friend telling me many years ago about her own mother’s recent death–”It doesn’t matter how old you are,”… Continue reading Epilogue / December 10, 2008
I am slowly allowing myself to realize that this will be my mother’s last infirmity. I kept playing devil’s advocate with myself as she’s failed over the past couple of weeks–how on earth could she fail so quickly?–but this is one of the ways it happens. It boils down, I think, to an injury of… Continue reading The beginning of good-bye / April 1, 2008
A quick entry, just to say that I’ve posted at least once in August. I continue to visit my mother three times each week. Some days I find her settled, other days–like today–find her agitated. She’s usually fretting about someone she cannot quite identify. Today it was someone named “Lily” (the name of my recently-departed… Continue reading Same old, same old / August 31, 2007
My mother has now been living at Garden Manor for six months, and here is where we stand: On the Aid & Attendance front, I reapplied in late February–four months ago–and have not yet received a decision. I had originally sent the application to the Providence, RI, office of the VA, but received an acknowledgement… Continue reading Six months / June 23, 2007
I didn’t want to let April go by without a word. I’ve started several posts over the past two months but have been unable to finish them. I knew that I would have a period of adjustment to my mother’s new living situation, and I guess I shouldn’t be surprised to find myself depressed. When… Continue reading Blues / April 28, 2007
My mother in into her third week at Garden Manor, and I can see that she’s settling in. She has a couple of friends she often sits with and she’s gone on a couple of outings. Last week she had her hair cut and permed. Visiting remains difficult, for both of us, I think. When… Continue reading In transit / January 14, 2007
It’s been a rough couple of weeks. Anticipating and planning for the move to assisted living, making the move, and now adjusting to it–each stage has exacted its emotional toll. I began visiting my mother six days after she moved in, and if I had it to do over again, I would visit her earlier.… Continue reading Making the change / January 7, 2006
This is the first entry I’ve written from my own home. Last night was the first time in two years that I’ve slept in my own bed. I’m having a decidedly mixed reaction to the present. My mother moved into her assisted living unit on Thursday, an experience that lived up to all expectations. I… Continue reading Assisted living, part 5 / December 30, 2006
I was just over at the Alzheimer’s Association Caregiver Forum where someone had posted a message about the caregiver’s stages. I think I passed from one stage to the next on Sunday night, in a matter of minutes. I had a meltdown right in front of my mother (which I had tried never to do)… Continue reading Meltdown / November 20, 2006
