Today bears the same date as the day my mother died, but that day will always be a Tuesday to me. It felt like a Tuesday. Or maybe Tuesdays will always feel like that day, which was sunny in that extra bright early spring way. No leaves on the trees yet, exposing the squirrels and… Continue reading One year later / April 15, 2009
Next Monday will be the seven-month anniversary of my mother’s death. Strangely enough, it seems to me that even more time has passed since that day, and I have no idea why. I remember a dear older friend telling me many years ago about her own mother’s recent death–”It doesn’t matter how old you are,”… Continue reading Epilogue / December 10, 2008
My Mom died this afternoon at 2 PM. My sister and I were fortunate enough to be with her when she stepped fully into the afterlife. The Hospice nurse had adjusted her medications earlier, then the waters calmed and she seemed set on a peaceful course. We noticed her hands becoming cool and her skin… Continue reading Godspeed / April 15, 2008
My mother seems to have moved into a twilight place. She is eating less and less, and sleeping almost all day. The staff at Garden Manor are wonderful, as is Hospice. She is always dressed (which must be an ordeal, since she can’t even stand up on her own) and someone has painted her nails… Continue reading Hospice / April 10, 2008
I am slowly allowing myself to realize that this will be my mother’s last infirmity. I kept playing devil’s advocate with myself as she’s failed over the past couple of weeks–how on earth could she fail so quickly?–but this is one of the ways it happens. It boils down, I think, to an injury of… Continue reading The beginning of good-bye / April 1, 2008
The nurse from the assisted living facility visited us last Tuesday to evaluate my mother’s suitability for this type of living. I fretted deeply about this, despite trying to calm myself down by re-examining all my escape hatches (”This doesn’t mean she’ll have to move TOMORROW”, etc.). I eventually realized that my primary worry was… Continue reading Assisted living, part 3 / September 26, 2006
This is a story of how dementia and family dynamics can be kneaded together to create something that will rise on its own. It’s an example of how one situation and its ripple effect stoke the stress that often underlies the mindset and the judgment of the caregiver, and which then reaches the Alzheimer sufferer… Continue reading Dia de los Muertos / June 17, 2006
