Not much to report, other than the obvious change in my theme. I had been on the lookout for something with a yellow background and liked this one, which is called RetroFlowers. I like the overall balance of the elements and find the text to be much more readable than my last theme. I also liked… Continue reading A little introspection / July 30, 2006
I am beginning the process of applying for a Veterans’ Administration benefit called, informally, Aid & Attendance. I hadn’t heard of it until a co-worker of mine told me about it. At that point I found a website that will “talk” me through the process of applying. I understand that you can hire individuals or organizations to… Continue reading Aid & Attendance, part 1 / July 26, 2006
Today was a good day, and I had forgotten what it feels like to go the whole day without the knot in my gut. The weather was lovely–-bright and warm and dry, perfectly summer-like. When I made the first call to my mother at 9:30 AM she was alert and in a good mood. (Oddly… Continue reading The two of us / July 24, 2006
I have never said the “A”-word to my mother. I’ve never told her that she has Alzheimer’s, nor have I referred to it in passing. We have talked about her memory loss–I’m getting better at trying to draw HER out, rather than giving her little pep talks about it–but ever since the day the neurologist,… Continue reading The A-word / July 22, 2006
I’ve just finished reading Sue Miller’s The Story of my Father, an account of her Dad’s Alzheimer’s Disease. I was a fan of Miller’s writing well before I found this memoir–her novels include The Good Mother and Inventing the Abbotts. Graceful, evocative writing and the willingness to explore the darker side of life are two hallmarks of her work.… Continue reading Sue Miller’s memoir / July 20, 2006
I’ve been trying to describe to myself what causes me stress these days. If I can identify the factors, maybe I can manage some of them? [she wondered hopefully]. I don’t know when I began to think of stress as something like smog–diffuse and unavoidable. I guess it is, but nevertheless, it originates somewhere–either in… Continue reading Stress, part 1 / July 17, 2006
As I was piling the laundry into the basket this afternoon my mother, who was lying on the bed, said to me: “Oh–Happy Birthday.” Today is my birthday, actually, and I think she first remembered it at that moment, but the setting was comic. It’s silly of me to expect the day to be a little different,… Continue reading Caregiver’s Nirvana? / July 15, 2006
I’ve been reading My Mother’s Journey and having a conversation with Bailey, its author, about the gradual reversal in roles between our mothers and ourselves. We have both discovered that our own illnesses can bring out the maternal impulse that our Moms still possess–in my case, I’ve actually found myself “milking” the illness (which is usually a… Continue reading My mother, myself / July 12, 2006
I lost count of the number of times today that my mother asked me why “he” hadn’t come home. I think she may have split me into two people: the person she can see and the other person she talked to on the phone. She’s seemed a little “off” for the past couple of days–a… Continue reading Something’s got to give / July 11, 2006
I went to Catholic school as a kid, and I was one of those neurotic kids who hated to leave the house. I must have made life difficult for my parents because I was always feeling sick in the morning. When my mother would make my lunch she’d write a little poem on a piece… Continue reading Full circle / July 9, 2006
