My mother in into her third week at Garden Manor, and I can see that she’s settling in. She has a couple of friends she often sits with and she’s gone on a couple of outings. Last week she had her hair cut and permed. Visiting remains difficult, for both of us, I think. When… Continue reading In transit / January 14, 2007
This is the first entry I’ve written from my own home. Last night was the first time in two years that I’ve slept in my own bed. I’m having a decidedly mixed reaction to the present. My mother moved into her assisted living unit on Thursday, an experience that lived up to all expectations. I… Continue reading Assisted living, part 5 / December 30, 2006
Two days ago my cousin telephoned, and my mother answered. I listened to her side of their conversation and thought, “Have I been dreaming? Is she really sick?” She handed the phone to me at one point. “She sounds great,” my cousin said to me. Is this the woman I visited in the nursing home… Continue reading Heart and/or mind / December 10, 2006
I’m doing better since my last post, which is interesting to me, since nothing external has changed. Except, maybe, my hormones–which I know are internal but I think fueled my anxiety last weekend. So the medical researchers out there who are looking for a way to use that extra NIH grant money might consider studying… Continue reading Voices in the wilderness, part 1 / November 26
I wonder how long my mother will be this angry at me. When I arrived today she began immediately: I have no money, This is awful, Why are you doing this to me? I tried to remember not to argue, not to reason–which is so much harder than I imagined. I’d arrived shortly before the time that… Continue reading Again / October 28, 2006
I don’t particularly enjoy visiting with my mother in the nursing home, but I dislike NOT seeing her even more. I worried for awhile that my presence was having a negative effect on her behavior, until I realized that there is no resolution to that particular worry. Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t–in the end… Continue reading Visits / October 22, 2006
My mother remains hospitalized, and we now know that she has a pulmonary embolism, no doubt the result of Deep Vein Thrombosis. Another reason to keep the legs moving. The good news is that she is doing quite well–she is alert and her skin has color. She’ll probably be in for another couple of days,… Continue reading Transition, part 2 / October 12, 2006
Today reminded me of why taking care of someone with Alzheimer’s Disease becomes unbearable. In short: there is no smooth trajectory downward–you wake up each morning with little expectation of what the day will bring. Things get horrible, then they suddenly improve for awhile. Then they get worse for a day, then you coast along… Continue reading Catherine Wheel / October 6, 2006
I called my mother from work at the usual time this morning, and she was having the speech difficulties she often has when she’s upset by something. But she managed to say to me, “I have company today.” Using my best powers of interpretation, I guessed that she meant Eva, the homemaker. “No,” she said.… Continue reading Deja vu / September 6, 2006
I didn’t make a conscious decision to take a hiatus from posting, and really didn’t notice that I’d withdrawn until Gail mentioned it to me in an email. But it’s true–I’ve felt so weighed down by everything that I haven’t had the spirit to write. Today was an awful day. It didn’t start out that way–I left… Continue reading Going home / August 29, 2006
