My Mom died this afternoon at 2 PM. My sister and I were fortunate enough to be with her when she stepped fully into the afterlife. The Hospice nurse had adjusted her medications earlier, then the waters calmed and she seemed set on a peaceful course. We noticed her hands becoming cool and her skin color changing. Her breathing became shallower and shallower, and I knew she was on her way. She took a last breath and was gone.
That moment was like a window flying open. My mother’s spirit took off and all the bottled-up feelings came loose. There has been so much grieving over the past few years–in increments–that right now I only want to piece together the mother I had for the first fifty-two years of my life. I’m heartbroken but relieved that she might now be able to understand the past few years–why she couldn’t stay in her home, why her mother never came to visit her.
We each have to come to terms with death in our own way. It’s not any nobler or braver to be an atheist than it is to believe in God. The noble part is living by your beliefs.