It’s Sunday morning and I’m still staying at my mother’s house. I’m trying to think of moving some of my belongings back to my house but I can’t until I know whether my mother will be able to move directly into AL from the nursing home. Part of this is just my natural caution and… Continue reading Waiting / October 22, 2006
My mother was transferred to the nursing home for rehab on Saturday. She was remarkably “with it” once we arrived. My sister and I were amazed. Of course there were spells of confused talk, but we stayed with her all afternoon, and then I returned for a couple of hours in the evening. I sat… Continue reading Transition, part 3 / October 15, 2006
My mother remains hospitalized, and we now know that she has a pulmonary embolism, no doubt the result of Deep Vein Thrombosis. Another reason to keep the legs moving. The good news is that she is doing quite well–she is alert and her skin has color. She’ll probably be in for another couple of days,… Continue reading Transition, part 2 / October 12, 2006
“I have no idea what the day will bring.” That’s how I ended my last post, and the following day, unfortunately, did prove to be memorable. Seven hours in the emergency room with my mother, who had collapsed at 5 that morning. I couldn’t even sit her up, she was so weak, and I had… Continue reading Transition, part 1 / October 10, 2006
Today reminded me of why taking care of someone with Alzheimer’s Disease becomes unbearable. In short: there is no smooth trajectory downward–you wake up each morning with little expectation of what the day will bring. Things get horrible, then they suddenly improve for awhile. Then they get worse for a day, then you coast along… Continue reading Catherine Wheel / October 6, 2006
I’ve begun several posts over the past week, and then found myself petering out very quickly. Each day begins on the wrong note as my mother becomes more and more anxious at being alone. She can no longer evaluate the situation and tell herself that Eva will be arriving at some point–her anxiety feeds on… Continue reading Holding / October 3, 2006
The nurse from the assisted living facility visited us last Tuesday to evaluate my mother’s suitability for this type of living. I fretted deeply about this, despite trying to calm myself down by re-examining all my escape hatches (”This doesn’t mean she’ll have to move TOMORROW”, etc.). I eventually realized that my primary worry was… Continue reading Assisted living, part 3 / September 26, 2006
Only over the past couple of months have I understood what is meant by “caregiver’s burnout.” Waking up each morning with a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, going to bed at night with a head full of circling obligations and regrets. Catching myself in the middle of the rare pleasant experience and… Continue reading “Knocking on heaven’s door” / September 16, 2006
Next Tuesday a nurse from the assisted living home will evaluate my mother here at the house. I spoke to her on the phone today to set the time. She then asked me what my mother knows about the arrangements. Nothing. We have brought it up as a possibility with her, but I have still… Continue reading Assisted living, part 2 / September 13, 2006
I’d like to repeat a comment that was left for me by Patty Doherty, one of the creators of The Unforgettable Fund. Answering just ONE of her questions requires one to be bravely empathetic. And until the most powerful members of our society can acknowledge and deeply empathize with the least powerful members (note Patty’s challenge,… Continue reading Good stewards, part 1 / September 11, 2006
